Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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