so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize