great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
