I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize