I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
