I didn't shave. On purpose
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
