he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
