I want to stick my p in your. b.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize