why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
