In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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