People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
