i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
