i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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