he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
