I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
