Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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