She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
