spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
