Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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