i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
