True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
