3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
