i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
