Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
