Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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