Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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