Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
