walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize