the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
