i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
