i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
