my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
being pregnant is like rehab
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
