im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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