I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
