At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
