I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
