CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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