dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my sisters under your porch take her home
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
