yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
