I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
