YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
