I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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