he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize