Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
one might say we're banned from that church
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
