just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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