You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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