We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
