Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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