I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
