i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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