dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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