we have pet lesbian snakes
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
