Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i dont even know how to be here
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
