so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
