It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
