She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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