Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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