it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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