Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
