I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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