is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
3 2 1 whiskey
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
