She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My feet surprised me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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