I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
