508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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