We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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