My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
