gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
