I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
