people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
