1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
