let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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