I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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