you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
