paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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