I think im going to throw up on grandma
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
