Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
