She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
