How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
